11/2/2018 0 Comments Paella: the flashest meal ever**according to guitar man.
So the other night, the guitar man and I had a tussle over who was gonna cook dinner. He's been cooking heaps, but cooking is my love language so I wanted to cook too. He's been looking after me because I'm still a bit shit from being sick. My liver is still deranged and the tequila shots and Gin and Tonic do not seem to be helping it (lol, totally joking if you're my doctor - it is completely on the improve). Anyway, I fought my way into the kitchen, and was planning to make roast chicken, except (a) it was still frozen and (b) it was already 7pm, so I had to reconsider which involved sitting on the sofa for a while looking at Facebook. Eventually I had to actually do something, so I made Paella, and when I served it up, guitar man said it was in his top ten meals ever. I wasn't even delirious when he said that, and it wasn't even for a shag, I have no idea what else makes his top ten, but this is in it. He said it was even better than when he ate Paella in Spain, probably because it is so completely unauthentic. The photo is a bit crap because we'd devoured it like a bunch of hungry hyena, and then I said, shit I should take a photo. The 15-year old has told me to ask her to take all the photos because she is better than me, but she is never around, when I want a photo taken. This takes longer to cook than you think. I thought it would take 30 minutes, but it didn't, took longer but there's a heap of sitting about looking at facebook, and drinking gin and tonics involved, so it's chill as. You need (it looks like lots of ingredients but they're basic as)
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27/1/2018 2 Comments Chinese sauces for MariaSo my friend Maria, has been all whiney pants asking me to put up these recipes, but as you know I've been too busy not dying in hospital to even think of adding more. But today I am bored AF, so am bothering to do it for her. I was real sick in hospital and when I got out I checked what they think I have and was like "Holy shit, no wonder I felt like dying" If you're interested it's called cholangitis. I don't recommend it. My arms still look a bit junkie like, but I think they'll wear off before work, i'll have to find some other way to elicit sympathy. My kids are still talking about what to do if I die. Baby Gi has been nominated to do the cooking. She's 12 and cooks up a storm. Sometimes she cooks a whole cake after school because she is hungry, or cooks rice and makes Onigiri - Japanese rice balls from breakfast, WTF. I know I'm a freak, but my kids are next level freaks. Having been shopping, the 15 year old has realised that food is real expensive. She has decided that if I die they all have to earn money, and Gi is not allowed to eat so much food, because "she probably won't even be bothered to get a job". But onto these sauces which are THE BEST in the world EVER! The spring onion one is weird as. Actually they're both weird as but so so fucking delicious. I used to work near Otahuhu and there's a Chinese food shop called Double Happy BBQ Shop Hong Kong style and they would serve meat whacked with a cleaver on rice with some asian greens and the spring onion sauce. So So good, and real cheap - used to cost like $6 or $7 and my friend Catherine and I used to share it. The chilli sauce is like the one they serve at Johney's dumplings and it's real good chilli. It might not be exactly the same but shut up and everything if it isn't. You can eat it on anything really, except perhaps ice cream and cheesecake because that would be stupid. As an aside Luke, who is a waiter once worked in a flash hotel in London and a whole bunch of Americans were staying, and at the buffet they put the main course and the dessert on the main plate. He even pointed out there were dessert bowls but they were OK with it and ate it together. weird huh. These sauces don't take that long to make but you gotta watch them, they can store in the fridge for ages. You could buy some cutes as pots from Kmart to store them in. I wouldn't recommend you make them at the moment seeing as it's hot as fuck, and all you should be doing is sitting in the shade drinking copious amounts of mojitos or margaritas or the mango cocktail I invented when I had gin and no tonic, but I can't because my liver is fucked. For this week. I even am putting photos up. It's my new thing. I probably should have done them when they were fresh, but I had to steal them off Maria's facebook page from when she came for dinner and we'd already scarfed down a shit-ton of food . Maria has bagsed the green glass dishes should I die. They were my Mum's, and they're cool as. Chilli Sauce this is really just a rehash from here, so check her recipe out if you think this version is shit You need:
That photo looks a bit crap. But only because it's the dregs, but it is delicious. I promise. Probably needs an instagram filter too. check me out on the gram. Moirafood. Currently there's only two photos there so probably no need to check me out, except to feed my insatiable ego.
Ginger and Spring Onion Sauce This is a smaller recipe because spring onions are dear as at the moment - man, I should have grown some. Except that would mean gardening which is something I don't do. When they're cheap, double it and make heaps.
13/1/2018 0 Comments Tuatua frittersSo I live by the sea and we went swimming the other day after a storm and the sand felt gross as because there was a squillion Tuatua underfoot. There's been a rahui on collecting them so they've had heaps of babies and then we had a big storm and they all came to see me because they were scared. I was so excited when I realised they were OK to eat, so I went to the beach and got some. It was a toss up between tuatua on bread and butter or fritters but then Guitar Man said "Fritters" so we had both - Tuatua fritters on bread and butter and OMG they were so so good. We had them with asian sweet chilli sauce and Siracha Mayo because I'm a wanker, and crispy potatoes You need
30/7/2017 4 Comments OMG Potatoes
So tonight I was in the depths of Sunday night back to work monday despair, so in order to take my mind off things I made a proper meal. I don't even know why I bother. This week we have had canned tomato soup and toast, and spaghetti buns, and that makes me the best Mum ever.
Tonight we had steak. Well the Man and I did, and they had sausages. And these Yum as Potatoes, which are so simple and Yum. You need a bit of time though. You need:
Peel the potatoes. This is quite boring but if you want you could listen to this poem about peeling potatoes - When all the others were away at Mass. It made me cry.
28/6/2017 0 Comments Best Coleslaw EverIf you look below there's a recipe for Pulled Pork. It's yum as. Probably not authentic at all. Here's some coleslaw to go with it. You can buy coleslaw at the supermarket, which is cheap as. But if you have some cabbage you could make some. It's easy peasy. And when I thrust leftovers onto my friend Simone she said it was the best coleslaw she had ever eaten. Maybe she hasn't eaten Coleslaw often. I didn't want to pry.
When I was growing up we used to have boiled cabbage all the time and it was re-volt-ing. So it is only recently that I've been able to bring myself to buy cabbages. For a while I just used to buy them, then leave them in the Once Were Vegetables drawer til they went rotten. But now I make them into coleslaw, or fried cabbage. Actually to be honest, I normally serve the fried cabbage onto my plate, eat a forkful and then bin the rest. I have the very very best intentions, but the road to hell yadda yadda yadda. You need:
26/6/2017 1 Comment Pulled PorkSo a little while ago I had a party and you had to come as a dead celebrity and a whole heap of Amy Winehouses turned up and one was Anita who I never met til that night even though it was my party but she's cool as. So she's just got back from Hawaii and I'm totally not jealous. I saw her in the supermarket and she wanted to make Pulled Pork so I totally said I'd write a blog post specially for her. Cos you're cool Anita. x
Pulled Pork is Yum AS. I always make way too much but I hate left overs so I give it away to other people to eat. I serve mine with homemade coleslaw because, yes as you know I AM that wanky. t. Just buy it from the shop until I write it up OK, it'll be OK. I also serve it with bread unless I am trying to be a lingerie model and then I eat no carbs, for like one meal. Totally works as those of you who know will attest. That and the 5.30 am cross-fit and the thrice daily parkour training. Cook this in the slow cooker. If you don't have one buy one. seriously they are cheap as at the Warewhare. You need:
Other things you could chuck in are
21/6/2017 0 Comments Prawn and Chorizo Pasta - so flashOK, so I did a Page on Facebook and got all fired up, and then my daughter said "do you still post on that blog Mum" and I said "TOTALLY!" and she said "don't even say that because I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not" and then my son pointed out I hardly every post. I said I post weekly-ish, which looking back is once ever 5 months or so, so pretty much like when your 11 year old says she walks the dog for "an hour". Once we timed her. It was 9 minutes. Anyway two posts in two day. I rock.
In the four square there is this corner of the freezer where they sell all the fresh meat which is too old to sell fresh, so they freeze it and sell it frozen, and it's cheap as. It's kinda a secret so don't even look there. So I bought real fancy free range fresh chorizo sausages for 5 bucks. They had been over $10 which I think is way expensive for 6 sausages. Especially when they might be a bit yuck even if they're free range, and I know the kids won't even eat them because (a) they're too spicy (Chorizo, not the kids) or (b) they're vegetarian (yawn). Tonight the kids have all been off school sick so I made my speciality sushi rice served with some avocado for them. Best Mum Ever. I bet their hearts are way healthier than mine. And I made this meal for the grown ups. And it was yum as. You need:
20/6/2017 2 Comments Potatoes that are yumSo Maria came over to visit me. Dinner time funnily enough. Lucky I had made a reasonable attempt at being a housewife. So there was a real yum meal at the Drive Through. (I could explain this to you but cbf). OK it's what the kids (me) call the bench where the food appears.
So we had southern fried chicken. That recipe is somewhere here. Maybe I can link to it. If I can Im fucking awesomer than usual. moirafood.weebly.com/im-a-bit-motivated/southern-fried-chicken Holy crap: Check that... Anyway we had yum as potatoes with it. Potatoes can be yuck if they aren't chips or roast, but these are noice. You need
To make it
4/1/2017 0 Comments Quiche PastrySo this is for my beautiful friend Tania who I secretly hate because she is an amazing artist. She also taught my 11 year old how to take cool as photos using ISO and aperture which I don't understand at all. I don't really hate you girlfriend, but can you make some stink as art to make me feel better please.
This is the weirdest but best pastry ever. It's based on this one but I savouried it up. Ask Tania how to make quiche filling. Probably some eggs and shit.
3/1/2017 1 Comment Vege SamosaSo these aren't even Samosa. Not even close, but that's what they're called in our house.
This post is for Julia, who is awesome and has a vegetarian daughter much like myself (in that I have a vegetarian daughter, not that I resemble a 15 year old. Though I probably do). Julia is however, tall and slim and beautiful like a super model with a handsome husband, unlike myself who is fun-sized and without a husband. (oooh, I hear a collective intake of breath - get with the program peoples - that happened ages and ages ago). I make these, and use them for school lunches. The vege daughter eats them for breakfast, or once ate most of them for afternoon tea with her friend and it made me really really angry. But I'm OK now about it. Mostly. You need
Do not leave on the bench with hungry teenage girls around. they will make you grumpy because they'll eat them all and then say 'I don't want dinner' and that was meant to be their school lunch for the week. Seriously teenage girls lovely but WTF. Did you notice how advanced this post is? it has a photo, and a link, and italics and everything. Farrrr. I should be doing this for a job earning zillions of dollars. |
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May 2019
CategoriesAll Canned Tomatoes Cheese Chicken Cream Curry Meat Pasta Potatoes Spinach Vegetables |