25/5/2019 0 Comments PensSo pens are a pretty sexy thing. I love stationery. And I love a a good pen. In the interest of good pens here is a brief guide: The worst pens ever are those cheap-ass fine tipped ball points which rip your paper. They suck. The suck so much I couldn't even find an image. But you don't want to look at them because they suck so much The best pens are these ones from K-mart Seriously these pens rock. and they only cost $2.
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16/2/2019 0 Comments Indian for breakfast
Last night Guitarman's brother and his wife who still puts sultanas in her pikelets despite popular opinion (but that's OK, who am I to judge) (I'm totally judging) redeemed the whole sultana issue by buying us Indian for dinner. It was delicious, and they went all out and got the mixed entrees too, which I am too cheap to buy.
There were heaps of left overs, so when I hauled my ass out of bed, and started to make a bacon and egg breakfast (put the pan on the stove), and then opened the fridge there it was staring at me in the face. (that is a very long run on sentence, but I can't be bothered editing). Anyway I quick sticks turned the pan off, so we could enjoy the delights of Indian for breakfast which is the best thing ever.
One time I went for a business trip to Penang. Interesting fact is it is a muslim country. Other interesting fact is beer and cocktails were the same price. So we'd drink cocktails every night, and because I am a cheap date, I'd wake up hung over. There was a massive flash as breakfast buffet in the hotel with chefs cooking pancakes, but because it is a muslim country there was no pork, so the bacon was made from turkey, which frankly is pretty shitty. About two days in I discovered the curative power of Squid Curry for breakfast. It was the best. Super hot, and with little squiddy tentacles. Anyway the upshot of this story is that curry is good. We had to share the curry three ways because the 13-year old was up doing washing. She does the washing for the family, and told me off for not putting my dresses out in a regular manner, because she had six in one wash* so I felt duty-bound to share the leftovers with her. She had to come into our room and get coathangers while Guitarman and I were lounging in bed. ew. Anyway what looked like a mountain of leftovers in the fridge was actually just an adequate breakfast for three. Sadly we'd scoffed all the Naan last night. Interesting fact it takes 2 minutes to microwave a plate of breakfast indian. Another interesting fact when you buy curry it looks like not much food for dinner is actually heaps, but in the morning what looks like lots of food isn't that much. not enough to gorge ourselves on, so we were like fat pigs. I had also managed to put empty containers in the fridge which may have confused me a little. The 15-year old boy got up late so I reluctantly shared some samosa and one precious piece of meat with him. See how much I love my kids. Anyway the final conclusion is 1. curry for breakfast is the best and 2. yum. Oh and Yay for being shouted a takeaway, the whole Sultana debacle is forgotten (it isn't). *Just looked at the washing and one is a slip, so it was only 5 dresses and a slip. Kids exaggerate so much. 20/1/2019 0 Comments Best Recipes: Lemon Honey or CurdHere is the best Lemon Curd recipe ever. You can call it Lemon Honey if you want but it's a misnomer because it contains no honey, but I guess it contains no curds too so there you go. My Nana used to make Lemon Honey, and it took ages, and there was lots of stirring involved. I have a short attention span so ugh, all that stirring, and eggs and shit. Anyway this recipe is the best - as you can see by the photo because I made it on Thursday and now it is Sunday.
The 16 year old loves lemon curd, but since the lemon feast of 2019, I was like no we're not buying any, let's make some together. I almost caved and bought some because frankly the thought of making lemon curd was too much for me, but I put it back in the wrong place in Pak'n'save. Sorry P'n'S work, though when I worked at Foodtown I quite liked getting all the wrong place stuff because you could take ages walking around with a trolley collecting and returning and trying to say hi to your soon-to-be boyfriend. The 16 year old said "make it? ew it has eggs in it and ew." So I steeled myself, and found this recipe, to try out (yes it has eggs in it and they weren't ew) and it is so so so easy. Just put it in the microwave, and it makes its self. I used 4 lemons, and next time might use more to make it even more lemon. Actually I didn't bother putting the rind in though I should have, but I couldn't be bothered with all that grating. Next time I will. As you can see it was a success. And the 16 year old said "it's even better than the bought stuff" Wtaf. I know - wonders will never cease. You should make it. If you don't have a lemon tree buy some juice in a bottle and add some 2 Tablespoons of juice = 1 lemon. Mosquitos: hate them (two reviews in one). Just smashed one over cos it was biting my arm. <3 14/1/2019 0 Comments The best pastry ever (and easy as)This is my goto pastry : https://www.davidlebovitz.com/french-tart-dough-a-la-francaise/ It is so easy to make, never fails and is crisp and buttery. I use it in Citron tart, or lemon meringue pie, or anything else that needs a base. You could use it instead of a cheesecake base, because all the crushing of biscuits is a pain the ass, and keeping everyone from eating the biscuits is also a pain in the ass. In our house we have an "eating" and a "non-eating" cupboard. The eating cupboard is full of boring stuff like pasta and tins of tomatoes. The non-eating cupboard is where the muesli bars and biscuits go, however they still sometimes disappear.
When you're making this it's really easy to burn your hands, I melt everything in a pyrex jug in the oven, and then forget it's really fucking hot. My top tip is to wrap the oven gloves or tea towel around it, which will make you pause and think "that's odd - why is that wrapped around there?" and then when you go to remove it you only burn yourself a little bit. My attention, even to my own actions is seriously lacking. That photo is from the website, but mine looks like that, if a little less neat around the edges. You should make it. If you don't know what to put in it check out my Key Lemon Pie. It is easy and delicious. The recipe is here as the print version, but David Lebovitz is the best blogger so go and read him. 13/1/2019 0 Comments Board Games
Here in the Moira-house we play heaps of board games. My kids went through a monopoly phase and now we own pretty much every monopoly set brought out. In the end I stopped them buying different versions, so they spend their money in more dissolute ways. Question: why do the kids have a higher disposable income than me? Answer: They were wise enough not to reproduce.
Anyway, so you don't have to play them, here is a review of board games. (this list is not exhaustive but is boring enough) 1. Monopoly - as I said we have a zillion different versions - they are all essentially the same though and always end up in a fight. This link goes to the one "now with Cat Token" if my kids see that, they'll want that version too. For a while I was banned for being too competitive - like that's even a thing. And now it is a cunning match of wits and a race to get hotels up. the 15 year old is a rule freak - Jaysus he should really be chief justice. Anyway this game lasts frigging hours and sucks balls. 2. Catopoly - the 9 year old got this for Christmas. It's just monopoly with Cats. and an excuse to say "hmmm this is like another game I can't quite put on finger on" and "4 house what do you mean - these are litter trays" Seems less fighty than Monopoly but that maybe because of the calming effect of cats. 3. Monopoly Empire. This is only like monopoly in that there are chance cards and a square board (9 spaces on a side instead of 10 says the Maths- boy - yeah it's not advance Maths but who would have noticed) and you can go to jail. Otherwise it's completely different. I like it because the games are short. Much less than the multi-houred extravaganza of monopoly. And you can target people (or be kind in my case). i feel uncomfortable about the brands and consumerism that I am exposing my kids to but in light of the short playtime and the face I win quite frequently I can overlook their decent into a relationship with brands as a substitute for healthy human relationships (I stole that of WIkipeadia) 4. Cluedo. I quite like this for the murder aspect and the fact I personalised it with our family and our interests "Guitarman with a glass of milk in the hall". Sadly you don't get to virtually murder anyone, the killing is already done for you. However I failed to personalise half the game and the marking cards which makes things a bit shit at times. It good until you have a cheater. Or a 9-year old who guesses the answer in round two. 5. Upword. We got given this for Christmas. In game one I misinterpreted the rules, and won. Then the genius boy read the rules and corrected me. Subsequently I lost every game. This game is a mindfuck. I still like it though because it's new. In a week's time that opinion will be different. 6. Yahtzee. My friend Catherine had this when I was little and I was quite jealous. It looked amazing on the TV ads. It is one of my favourite games because it isn't too long and I win quite frequently. One time my friend Robyn and I went away with out kids, and it was raining and we had no money, so we went to the $2 shop and bought dice and the lady kindly let us copy the Yahtzee pad. How budget is that. But it was hours of entertainment for $2 which is pretty awesome for 6 people. Not amazing entertainment like we were snorting coke in Las Vegas* but it did the trick. * I actually have (a) never snorted coke nor (b) been to Las Vegas. Don't judge me.
7. Mastermind. I put a picture up because check out that guy and chick. WTF. In the early 1970s that was the epitome of sophistication. I really wanted to be a chick in a slinky gown standing behind a man in a suit with my arm on the chair. That was one of my aspirations. Instead I was a bit too opinionated and short to take that role. And I slinky dresses really weren't the thing in the grungy '90s. This game looks lame, but it's better than it looks. Except it is really anxiety inducing. Also don't play against genius-boy who gets the answer in a minimum of moves and is smug about it. There are no fights but there is a lot of stress.
8 The Game of Life. Do not buy this ever. Especially do not buy a 1960s version from the op-shop for $3. This link goes to the modern version. I think it is shorter because everyone's attention span has been fucked up. In the 1960s and 70's everyone spend broad tracts of time being bored out of their skulls. I guess that's why the era looked like this. This is the most depressing game. Especially when the genius son becomes a physicist and the other kids become doctors you're stuck with a being a teacher earning heaps less than them and they say "just like in real life Mum". What game has stocks and insurance certificates. And the rules are like the Mgna Carta, and take an extended amount of time to peruse and interpret. It's a shit game because you get ahead and then there's insurance and taxes to pay. So it essentially just like your life. Especially because you start out all optimistic and then it just goes downhill and any small glimmers of light is quickly extinguished by another fucking bill. And it goes on for ages. The track winds all over the board, so just when you think you're coming to the end you're not. Everyone loses in this game. If you play it get a DNR order, and see if you can drive into the bridge. If you think i am exaggerating then check out this ad. They're trying to sell the game, so these are the highlights. Ps everyone get a car, fuckwit (that's not aimed at you - just that kid in the ad) and there's not enough revenge squares. (that's pretty much like real life too) 10/1/2019 0 Comments New PlymouthI was gonna get all fancy and do a slide show, but then I stuck with a single image because you don't need all that distraction. So New Plymouth is somewhere I hadn't been for years and years til recently, and now I've been heaps in the last while. I went when I was about 20-months to visit my cousins, obviously I wasn't on my own, I presume my parents went too. It wasn't toddler Moira hitching from the Eastern Bay of Plenty (though I was quite feisty and that may have been something I would have considered). Then I went at about 20 when I was at University to stay at my Nana's house. She moved there from Auckland in her late 70s. She was quite feisty too. Then i took the kids as part of our "places they'd never been". Unfortunately the first place I took them was Wellington, and they wanted to repeat that experience. I kinda ruined small towns by introducing them to the coolness of Wellington too early. Then i met Guitarman who grew up there so we have been 3 times in the last 2 years. Which is cool as. Is that too much introduction to my review? - it gets longer so bear with me. His Mum and Dad live there. So he gets to be a 15-year old again, and I get to enjoy being in a house with a Mum. My Mum died when I was in my late teens, so it's nice to have clean sheets and a meal cooked. (Cancer if you're wondering). i did have a mum-in-law and a Step-mum-in-law from my marriage, but that's a whole other story. If you want to know it ask me, but you have to buy me a drink. My cousins live there and they're cool as, so I get to hang with them too. This is the end of the into bit. Anyway my review of New Plymouth starts here. I like it a lot. It has really good street art and cafes. It has wild west coast beaches. It has the wind wand which is wavy as, and doesn't have dickheads breaking it. It has the Festival of Lights which is really really cool. The Tauranga festival of Lights sucks balls. this one is seriously so good. I made a new friend with a lady from Colarado who gave me a heart that said "you are a gift to the Universe". Or as the 15 year olds said "Gag Gift". It has the Len Lye centre which is an amazing mirrored building. It is worth a look inside, but probably only once because they make visitors pay now. Fun Fact: Len Lye wasn't even from New Plymouth. Everyone takes a photo of it and of the mountain. That makes it a bit boring. It has restaurants at the Breakwater which were yum,. We went for a walk along the breakwater bit, though I did Parkour kicks off the concrete and then my inner thighs ached for 2 days afterwards It has really great rivers to swim in and do bombs, which actually aren't even polluted like Kaiete Falls, and don't even get me started on that because it really pisses me off. I swung off the rope which counted as a Bomb, and you only have to do one to say you've done a Bomb despite advise to the contrary from the kids. We got sunburned but - wear sunscreen. They're real close to town too. - the swimming holes are. Like super close. The very best thing about New Plymouth is FEEDING THE EELS which I wrote in Caps so you can see how good it is. OMG it seriously is the best. You have to go right in town at Huatoki Plaza Stream. We go to Pak'n'Save and buy chicken hearts and they love them. Though one touched my hand and freaked me out and made me scream. I had to put the photo of the eels at the bottom because I can't manage to use the image thing, though I did 5 minutes ago when I wrote about Festival of Lights. WTF. We bought 2 packs of chicken hearts last time and the eels were stuffed, they were like I couldn't possibly have another, but then they did anyway. We shared the hearts with some little kids who loved it. Fun Fact - long finned eels are protected and they breed once. They swim all the way to Tonga and then the babies swim back. They live to 120 and breed once. They are really gentle when they touch you so there's no need to be scared. (I'm being real brave as I write that). The bad thing about New Plymouth is that it's a long way away in the car - it takes ages to drive there like 4 1/2 hours and then there's an argument because I missed the turn offs because i haven't driven it one million fucking times. It also pisses me off that you have to go North to Cambridge from Tauranga to get there from here and you can't drive directly across country. Though the time I went with the kids I went via Rotorua. Evidently that was wrong but we still got there. Edit: Guitarman said we weren't even going North and he wanted to check on a map. I did check and he's right. God that pisses me off.... but makes me happy in the long term. I will be less pissy about going to Cambridge. You should google map it at your leisure. Oh another cool thing is you have to go through the cutest tunnels on the way there. That's cool as. There's only two so make the most of them. and the scenery is beautiful but the road is windy and a bit scary. Guitarman said the dumb things are farmers and racism. There is some seriously racist shit in the little cottage by Puke Ariki the museum. I was shocked. Far out if you want to see some terrible attitudes towards Māori, go there and read the stuff from the settlers. Also Parihaka is there which is my cousins' Marae, and that is some terrible terrible shit, and if you don't know about it you should. Go and read the link and this article too. Anyway New Plymouth is a cool as place to visit. Go there. But read up on Parihaka. 9/1/2019 0 Comments this lamb recipeSo we had a roast lamb in the fridge. We were meant to eat it at Guitarman's Mums house where I would cook dinner, but to cut a boring story short we didn't stay that long, and we left it at home. I like how Guitarman turns into a 15-year-old at his Mum's. (Is there enough hyphen's in there. I am sure there is some rule about that. Guitarman pointed out there is a rule about apostrophes so I'm gonna leave that in to piss him off). We did have a delicious dinner with his Dad which I might review later. His Mum had a brazillion lemons on her tree so I took heaps home.
Anyway when we got home I couldn't be fucked cooking lamb and then I realised it had been in there for a while so I better do something with it, and I had a massive shopping bag full of lemons quietly rotting in the heat. So I made this recipe : lamb kleftiko which I could just write up but that would be stealing. The only difference I did was to roast the potatoes separately in oil butter and rosemary. They were super crispy but the lamb had heaps of water around it, so I wouldn't add so much as the lady says. Oooh lady! Guitarman said it was the best lamb he had ever tasted, I served it with a greek salad and homemade (shit) garlic bread too. That's her photo but mine came out like that. You have to start it way early because it takes 4 hours to cook. In the photo she has real oregano across it. You don't even use that, just the dried stuff which is on special at the four-square this week. Despite being the best lamb ever it was the worst dinner ever. We ate it on the deck and everyone was miserable as fuck. And it ended up in a massive argument, after we had eaten in near silence (so at least we got to finish the lamb. before the shouting started) .If you live near us you would have heard some good shit going down. Make this recipe. I recommend it heaps. Especially if you have a massive bag of lemons. And an almost on the turn Lamb roast. Never ever ever eat lamb on the deck. Because it will end terribly. Most of the dishes stayed out on the table all night too, because we were so focused on our fight. Maybe it's because the dog and chicken eat out there, and their misery* and animal-ness affected us. Tonight we ate at the table and we were so civilised. For us. *I'm not sure of their misery levels, but that chicken is fucking picky. And the dog will eat any old shit she leaves behind. Literally. This photo is on another post so I've linked to it so you can go backwards and forwards in a complete mindfuck. 8/1/2019 0 Comments The Rising tideFor a while I have thought about doing a review site because I have the best opinions. But it was way too hard to do another website. I already have two to manage which I do poorly. And I'm easily distracted. Anyway then I had the best brainwave ever to do them here on Moirafood. It's really just an opportunity for me to blah on so Guitarman doesn't have to listen to me talk so much. This is just going to be a collection of random reviews. I fully intend to do this regularly but I won't.
The first review is on the Rising Tide in the Mount. It's on Newton Street. Google Map it. I like going there for a couple of reasons $5 beer and $5 dumplings on a Monday. It's called Hospo Night on a Monday when they have the specials. When I heard that I thought you had to work in hospitality to get the specials. My mind went racing - am I going to have to make up where I work, what if they ask me hospitality related questions, this is a small town and they'll know I don't work in hospo. I should have relaxed because anyone can get the specials. Possibly I was just confused about the concept. It says in the photo Johney's Dumpling House but that's because they do the food. Don't be confused. For $5 you can get a beer or a gin and tonic (but I could be wrong about that like I was about having to be a hospitality worker). Last time I went I had a Salt Water Blonde which is unchallenging which is how I like my beer. There's heaps of beers there - like 42 or something (actually 39 because I checked their website and some of those are ciders). You can order by number which will decrease the anxiety somewhat. You can also get 5 dumplings but not the pork and prawn ones which are my favourite (You can get them, just no on the special). Last time we got the pork and vegetable which were an acceptable alternative and the Sui Mai which look weird and jelly-ish but are the bomb. TI think they have straw mushrooms in them (they don't; they have shitake) . There is a delicious chilli sauce (click for my recipe), but their's is better. I think it has black beans in it too and you don't have to make it. 5 dumpling each is heaps for dinner - they're big ones, not the little ones. But you're a dude or super hungry you could buy 10 or have a sandwich when you get home. They also sell curly fries, which is exciting if you're a curly fry fan. It's pretty busy on a Monday, but you can usually find somewhere to sit. I like how they reserve tables by taping the time and person's name to them so you know how long you have there. Or you can just pretend to be the person. The table we got was sticky from other peoples beer, but I didn't stress, I just didn't lean on it. You could always ask one of the staff to give it a wipe. They're pretty efficient. The staff are all gorgeous travellers too, with sexy accents. There were two bad things there. One was that I had to watch other people's food come out and I was STARVING. Our food didn't take long, but too many people had bought 2 lots of dumplings and I got super excited when the waiter walked past with them. The other bad thing is we sat by some annoying travellers. One really blond woman had thin lines tattooed around her wrist and was wearing a greenstone and that was very very annoying. They left halfway through our meal which made things a bit better. There were also two women there. Actually more than two, but two that were notable. One was really pretty, but with tree trunk legs, and her friend had amazing legs and body but an average face. That's not under "bad things" but was just an interesting observation I made. Interesting to me mainly. They might not be there if you go. I've been to The Rising Tide heaps and it is always great. You should go there unless you are an annoying traveller, or you could go, but not sit by me. |
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May 2019
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