28/1/2016 2 Comments Teenage Girls SmoothiesThis sounds like porn but it isn't. I have a teenaged daughter so it doubly isn't. Ew! Shame on you!
One night when teen daughter and I were both tired and had a screaming match which is an occasional hobby, I said she could make dinner. She said she'd make bread, and I could put the recipe here. Here it is : Open a packet of bread. Hand out a slice each. Anyway when she is like this, she is normally hungry, but is past eating. So this is where this recipe comes in. Works on other kids too. (She even thanked me for making this for her in a moment of lucidity - actually she is amazing! love you Baby!) you could even make this for yourself (note I have never drunk one of my smoothie. ew. I'm a bit weird on what I will consume) You need:
1. If you're using chocolate buttons put about a tablespoon in a tall thin jug or plastic container thing and just cover with milk, and microwave for a 30 seconds and stir. If they're not melting then put them in for another 30s and stir well. I use a fork to stir them. Lick the fork when finished if you want. 2. Put everything else in the jug. Add milk so it just covers the top 3. Blend it together with a stick blender. Or you could use a nutri-bullet if you're a wanker. If you used the canned rice, blend it heaps, cos bitd of rice would be yuck in a drink. 4. Pour into 2 or 3 cups to about half way. I pour into 3 because i have 3 kids. I use those cups that look like jars, but don't use a jar because then your teenage daughter will shout and say I use that jar to wash my paintbrushes, and you'll say how was i meant to know because it was in the drinking glass cupboard and looks like the jars from k-mart which are for drinking from, and she'll roll her eyes like you're the biggest dickhead ever and say "it's obviously a jar", which I thought the whole retro reuse thing was about. My bad. 5. Top up with milk and if you're feeling super super flash sprinkle with 100s and 1000s or drinking chocolate. (This is a new development, I used to make super thick smoothies, but one time I didn't make enough so had to do the share and top up thing, and my kids thought they were way better). 6. put a straw in and stir it around - or you can use a fork if you don't have straws - not the one you licked though. Only use a paper or washable one because plastic straws are huge contributors to rubbish, said a website I read (thought I would have thought all the food packaging was really). Mine are plastic washable ones and came with the cups from k-mart (actually the whole fake jar with straw and lid only cost $1.50 each, so are probably made by slaves in a real bad polluting factory) 7. Take to daughter's bedroom and hand to stressed out teen, resisting the temptation to say anything like "drink this it'll make you feel better". (quietly hand the others to your other children, so she thinks you only made it for her) 8. Wait 5 minutes for newly regenerated human being to emerge. 9. Ask her to cook dinner (this is a joke....) Also works on small children.
2 Comments
Sharyn Kalemuncher
27/1/2016 07:13:10 pm
Did you just imply I was a wanker-(nutri bullet owner). When I last talked to a food technologist she said rice pudding was carbohydrates
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Moira
28/1/2016 08:05:00 am
Hi Sharyn Kalemuncher. It wasn't an implication that you were a wanker, it was a statement. Though last night I was out with my friend Katy who asked me the same thing because she has a nutribullet. She got given it for Christmas and asked if that counted if you didn't buy it. That's an interesting philosophical discussion so I thought I would put a poll on my blog so the masses could decide. But then she said "do you know how to do that?, and I don't.
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